I Was a Child by Bruce Eric Kaplan

I Was a Child

Kaplan has written a book. Well, not really a book. I don’t consider some scribbles accompanying short paragraphs to be a book. Not sure this would qualify as a comic book either. I Was a Child: A Memoir, is nostalgic look at his childhood. I recognized some of his past in my own, so it was fun to read. It certainly wasn’t a difficult read. As a cartoonist Kaplan lacks anything like skill, so it’s hard to believe he’s published in the New Yorker. The book is pretty random. You can read it forwards or backwards, or any order for that matter.

210 pages

Excerpts From My Kindle

Everything in our house was repaired with Scotch tape. If a paint chip was coming off, it was taped down. If there was a tear in a lamp shade, a piece of tape was put on it. I felt held together by Scotch tape, and still do. – location 140-143

A trip to the dentist always ended with getting a ring from the same little dispenser. Year in, year out, there was never anything other than a ring. – location 253-254

On the weekend there were new cartoons like Jonny Quest or Josie and the Pussycats. At the end of the summer, there would be a nighttime half-hour preview of all the new cartoons that would be starting the following Saturday morning, and that was thrilling. Most of the new ones didn’t last, such as Hong Kong Phooey. – location 469-472

There were always cartoons about people you would see in real life, like the Jackson Five or the Brady Bunch or the Harlem Globetrotters. I watched those ones, but they made me feel weird. I was happy when the show would get canceled and the people would go back to existing in real life. – location 473-475

Anytime there was a house under construction, we played in it like it was a jungle gym when no one was there. I love the smell of sawdust, not that I would ever like to do any activity that creates sawdust. Nails were everywhere, but if you stepped on one, you just bled for a bit, then moved on. – location 496-498

I was only invited to that kids birthday once. I was in his class that year and was his friend. Then summer came, and the following year I wasn’t in his class, so I stopped being his friend. That’s a real life lesson, but I am not sure what the lesson is. If anyone knows, please tell me. – location 588-590

In the summers, Tuscan school would have some sort of program in which teenagers would teach you things. I made tons of Gods eyes each summer. After a while, the yarn would droop. THE PROGRAM at Tuscan was only for a few hours. – location 594-597

So much was happening in the Palmolive commercial. First, there was a lot of fear then about dishpan hands. You heard about it a lot, and you didn’t want it. Second, the idea that something that was supposed to be harsh on your hands was instead soothing was mind-blowing. Last, there was the betrayal that Madge, someone you could trust, could have you soak your sad hands in dish washing liquid. And she was so damn happy about the betrayal, she really was. – location 845-848

No one I knew had a knapsack. We just carried books in our hands. – location 863-864


About craigmaas

I do a little web design work and support a couple web sites and blogs. My primary focus is lighting and energy consulting where I use a number of computer tools to help my customer find ways of saving money and improving their work environment. See my web site for more information: www.effectiveconcepts.net
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